grudge

i've pulled back,
let go,
forgive to forget?
like a rubberband,
it shot back
and hit me again.

while i
break and crumble,
stumble and bleed.
trip over my bitterness -
fall to my knees.

you smile.

while i
swim in remorse,
drown in hate.
swear i'll never
be there again.

you laugh.

like an over-used movie,
it plays in my mind.
i've seen it,
i've heard it
millions of times.

the eery scratches of yesterday,
echo and shout.
happiness clouds while
hope chokes in doubt.

you live.